Quality over Quantity

It is not the quantity but the quality of the mind. It does not matter how many people follow a certain thought. Society is simply a collection of minds. What is important is the quality (clarity, strength, purity) of the mind. This is not a dictatorship or control. You would not be affecting the world through your individuality but through the quality of your mind. This mind quality would be something people would instinctively follow.

In this way, change will come from inside us and not found outside. We must search our souls in order to locate it, to free our minds of the shackles of confinement and the mob mentality.

The Struggle

"Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself." - Gandhi

Will we achieve what we set out to do, no matter how indomitable it may seem? Does it even matter? The struggle, the "Jihad" is where we can find the fulfillment. As difficult and as painful as it might be, it strengthens the soul, nourishes the soul. The destination is important, but it is the journey that defines us.

Let's take the journey, and not hasten the coming of our own ends.

Discipline of Conscience

"It is because we have at the present moment everybody claiming the right of conscience without going through any discipline whatsoever that there is so much untruth being delivered to a bewildered world" - Gandhi

I believe that this sentence has many implications and directions for anyone with the courage to think about it. Do we have an existential right of belief, of personal understanding, or does it come from study, thought, and discipline? But the follow up question is what constitutes enough discipline, or correct discipline? Does all discipline lead towards the same direction? And if so, how do we achieve the discipline?

I think that Gandhi has it spot on here, and I discipline involves personal growth, questioning and understanding. But this goes a step further. Discipline involves knowing that their are limitations to your thoughts, to your understanding, and you might have missed some things. You should be open to those being pointed out to you. The discipline to not retreat to ignorance and close mindedness and to face the fears of mistakes, and muster up the strength of will to question and study with new information in light. To know you know nothing. To know you don't have the answers, and you only make an attempt for good, even though that attempt might be wrong.
I think that would solve the issue of getting carried away with something, or taking something too far.

Immigration Racism

Pim Fortuyn, a dutch politician once commented in a column about foreign immigration into the Netherlands bringing with them their own customs, values and traditions that he perceived disturbed the more liberal state and constitution: "How dare you! This is our country, and if you can't conform, you should get the hell out, back to your own country and culture."
This view I feel is common amongst many in the world on all sides of the table. If you don't like it the way it is, then go back to where you came from. But how can such an idea be logical or sound in a world that is so affected by each other, with globalization, multi-national capitalism, and the effects of a devastating age of colonialism that has hardly left our sights, let alone our memories. I am sure many immigrants would love to just go home, but our home is not ours anymore. It is the dictators and tyrants that you have empowered and supply with money, weapons and a blind eye that forces immigrants into leaving their homes. It is your economic policies, your unbalanced deals, your broken promises that has destroyed my home and caused me to come to yours. And I remain a thorn at YOUR side even now, as you are the thorn in mine. My very existence bothers you, my food, my language, my difference bothers you. That causes you to hate me, but you hated me before you ever cared about differences, when you cut up my land and split up its families. I allowed it to happen, and I must clean up the mess, but I cannot even use my own land as a base, since my words are my very own death sentence. You built your country on by stealing, conning and raping my home, and with your elite ideology, you insult me. And now you want me to conform and convert my identity to yours, to the identity that raped me. You want me to become the rapist that raped me! And if I do not, I go home, to my culture, the culture that has been violated, the land destroyed, the families murdered, the voices silenced. Violated, destroyed, murdered and silenced with YOUR weapons, with your "culture", with your ideology. How dare you! How dare you!

Smile

I was just walking down the street and a little girl, aged about maybe 11-13 years old was walking in the opposite direction. She looked at me and just smiled. An innocent pure hello smile. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It made me think, we are funny creatures. Something so small and seemingly insignificant can have such an affect on our mood. I wanted to thank her. It was such a nice smile. It picked me up. This is probably wishful thinking, but could you imagine if we did that to each other more often, just smiled at strangers. We don't smile to convince them of something we don't smile to make them feel comfortable. We just smile. And we never see them again. I hope the feeling she gave me doesn't go away and I can pass it on. It was great. Just great.

Mixed Heritage

In this day and age, there is a new generation. A generation I feel that truly is new. A mixed generation, one that society cannot categorize in one or the other, but share a bond through mixed heritage. I am one of these people, and the specifics of the mix itself does not really matter here but rather the feelings associated with the mixing itself. For a period, it feels strange, because members of society always seem to prefer the comfort of set categories with very little deviation, from government officials, to neighbors, to friends and to family. But it is difficult for us to sit in one category. For we are not a product of one category but rather mixed. So how shall we define ourselves, and define our legacies? Where shall we stand? Shall this mixing be that of conflict, that of West vs. East, Traditional vs. Modern, Old vs. New or rather a fruitful collaboration if you will. Only time will tell, but the question falls to the individual to define themselves.

That was the easy part, the hard part comes along at the tough times, when it feels like the odds are stacked against you and you search for support, only to find that wherever you turn people think you are crazy, because you are not "completely one" nor "completely another". To both sides you are crazy, but it all seems to make sense in your head. You are confused, as I was told once. But I was also told something else. A reminder that I would like to put into words to help during those times where support is needed; You should not feel the need to fall into one of society's predetermined categories, because you are your own mind and a result of your own experiences, and instead of having pride with that one category, that superficial creation of nation, team, color, or institution, have pride in specific values and issues. Let your stance on specific issues define who you are, as opposed to a category. I am not completely American, English, Indian, Chinese, or Australian but rather I am actively against racism, against occupation, or against colonization.

I hope what I am trying to convey makes sense.

Sadness

I am at another crossroad.

I am feeling this overwhelming sense of sadness, anger, impatience and general unpleasantness that I seem to have trouble crawling out of. Conflicting thoughts go through my head, about life, and reality. It seems easier right now to devote my life to financial pursuits, since results are immediate, savings grow, and my mind is occupied. To enter the capitalist stream and begin the life of accumulation. But there is a but. It would feel like a betrayal, a betrayal of all I thought, all I believed and all I fought against as little as I did. It just seems the fight is futile, the fight against racism, poverty and illogical wars and killing. I am wavering at this part, and I do so without a fear of judgment from others, because that is not what this is about and never has been about. This is about defining my life and making a responsible adult from the child. This is the transformation. The question is what is a responsible adult? Is it a subjective or objective? Are there definite answers? There are so many road blocks in the way in order to enlighten people, to enlighten myself, roadblocks of various proportions and magnitudes. It is lonely, trying to find the strength to dig deep and find the courage to move forward against the road blocks. But there is a fear, what if I dive in, and there is not enough? Where does that leave my heart, mind and soul? In shambles, in dust? This confusion is a mind trap.

Neutrality and Silence.

Neutrality is a position. Staying silent is not staying neutral. You cannot abstain from a choice, you cannot ignore some choices, even a postponement of the decision is a decision and a choice itself. You can support the positive, you can fight the negative, but by not supporting the positive you by default support the negative, and therefore a part of it.

"If anyone of you sees something objectionable, he should change it with his hand, but if he cannot, he should change it with his tongue, and if he cannot he should do it in his heart, that being the weakest form of faith." - Muhammad (s)

"Your silence will not protect you" - Audre Lorde

Rationality and Reason

It is much more difficult to argue against a rational argument that it is an irrational one. Violence, yelling, and abuse is not a rational argument, and it is easy to find the faulted person when one is fighting and the other is still and calm. Embarrassing your opponent with rationality, reason and a calm head I think is the best way to get any idea across because it gives your opponent room to reach a conclusion free from the pressure or threat of violence or personal abuse. As human beings I think we lean towards rationality and reason and I think that is all we really want, a reasonable world. We struggle for it. But we must be reasonable in our struggles and not betray the very goal we are trying to achieve.

Protests

I walked into a protest today, a peaceful protest, but a protest nonetheless. I don't think it is important to mention the cause but let me assure you it was a fine one, one worthy of protest. I just had a few observations. There were law enforcement authorities that joined the rally, of course not for the cause but their paychecks. The rally went well and was considered a success for numerous reasons; good turn out, no body got hurt, the message got across, the police really didn't have to do anything. So all in all it was all good. But it raised some issues for me, not about the merit of protests, but rather how it is done. A protest or a rally is an inconvenience on many people, for example the law enforcement officers, the construction workers whose construction area happened to be where part of the rally was being held. I understand that these things need to be done, but wouldn't a small gesture of apology and thankfulness towards these inconvenienced people help your cause. A coffee, a popsicle or a smile and sorry even I think would go a long way in furthering your cause. Here is my reasoning, not everyone will support your cause, but many people will be inconvenienced by your rally, and a gesture of apology will convert to the rationale and reason behind your cause because it removes the stigma of angry unreasonable mob protest. It makes it look like you are doing it because you have to, and you are sorry that you have to do it, and I hope you can understand. Taking that time and making that effort, that gesture of love and understanding to the bystander removes the stigma and seed of hatred towards whoever or whatever you are protesting against.

One thing I noticed though was that by mentioning this to some people I got some people in the protest I got some very dirty looks. Why? Is it because the protest was more important than the cause? Is it because the cause is more important than the police officer's job or the construction worker's projects? Is the idea more important than the individual? We cannot create more grievances for some in order to protect others without apology or request of understanding. The idea cannot be more important than individuals because unfortunaltly that leads to fanaticism and extremism.

It comforts me to know that there were some people that did not give me a dirty look, that listened to my point, and I appreciate it immensely. These people were free from arrogance, and through them I hope change and positivity will flow and hopefully infect others.