Love

How can someone say they love you, but not be there for you when you need it. That is what love is right? Putting aside you to be present for others in their time of need. Putting the person you "love"'s needs before your own. Giving. Otherwise, it is simply another word, a syllable used to express the perceived meaning of attachment without thought. I love the work I do, and who I do it for, because I sacrifice my desires for them. And I do it with happiness. I feel happiness by giving love. And everyone needs to feel love. So do I. So where do I find mine? If I turn to those that have abandoned me, did they really love? I am there where I am needed, because I love, and I give. But where are those that claim to love me. Claim to "love" but will not give. Will simply use the word, an imagined connection, but not follow up with action.

There are some that do not use the word love. But they are there. Family, friends. They can be there. But then there are those that claim the word, without understanding the meaning. Love is selflessness. To love is to give.

I don't get how you can love and not give.

The Return of Loneliness

It is back, and things have changed. The meaning of my life comes into question yet again. I found answers before, which led to a whole new set of questions, and the journey excited, for I was blessed with a companion, to share, to love. The first time I experienced life shattering violence I started this blog with my travels. And here I am again. I remain intentionally vague so as to protect myself from the realities of my situation. I can commit bravery to experience, but to recall and explanation, i remain afraid.

My latest thought that prevents my descent into madness and chaos is the power I give myself with choice. I have never truly understood the maintaining power of Choice until I felt like I lost all of them. Life has a way of shaking you as soon as you feel comfortable, waking you from your slumber. Reminding you of your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Not so that you can turn them into strengths, but to humble you and return you to the state of humanity.

I return to humanity, return to my thoughts, return to loneliness. I am one with the world, and I am separate. I am important, and I feel meaningless. My journey is no longer one of distance, but one of courage, one of insight. I am afraid. But I have a choice, there always is my easy way out. My "comfort" card. I can lose my heart, my desire, and return to the path laid out for me. Or I can remain alone with my fear, with my self, and continue my struggle. This is a new struggle. A new search. And I more aware of the fear within me. The vulnerability. The weakness.

As it stands now I feel abandoned, and I feel lost. My heart is not my own. My words ad thoughts confuse me with their paradox. This should be a good place to start...

The Disturbance

As soon as the dust that we call our lives begins to settle, something comes along and disturbs us, it is not necessarily good or bad, but it is necessary. And inevitable. I am glad we are not here alone, even if we might always feel lonely. Even to share loneliness is a blessing we take for granted sometimes. I am happy to be moved, as scary as it is, for you don't know where you will end up, but it is the journey that matters, not the destination. You stop at the destination, you travel journey. And aren't we all but travelers in this life, just passing through.

The Moral Society and the Rights of the Individual

The rights of an individual only apply in the home, i.e. in the private space as long as it is not influencing others. Any negative habits like smoking or drinking should be kept in the home, because once brought into the public sphere it influences others by becoming socially acceptable, thereby corrupting society and making the negative habit more widespread.
So any person has the right to smoke or drink, but as long as it remains in the private sphere since there is an infringement of other peoples right in the public sphere. You are no longer an individual in the public sphere but a part of a collective where all your actions affect others.
It is up to government to decide what is negative and should remain in the private sphere and what is not. Since a person can leave the private sphere or choose not to enter it remains the realm of the individual, free from society's eyes.
Some negative habits which should be confined to the private sphere are smoking, drinking, gambling, sexual acts, drug use, etc.
In this case, an individual's rights are still protected while still preserving the moral fabric of society.
This also provides an individual with a choice in partaking in immoral activities, which is their right, or to abstain. The public sphere should accommodate the people who choose not to partake as opposed to those who choose to do so.
This does not become an issue of transparency but rather an issue of preventing moral perversion from becoming socially acceptable and therefore harder to remedy as well as prevent problems that stem from this perversion.
The government cannot stop a person from partaking in any activities within the confines and privacy of their own home as long as it does not infringe on the rights of other individuals within that sphere or who are forced into it. There should be freedom of movement into and out of that sphere for all other individuals. But once this immoral activity spills into the public sphere it is the responsibility of the government to protect the public arena from moral corruption.

Wake up People? Wake up Leaders

Is it that people in the world are too passive and they dont really care or feel for the oppression against the people in the world? There are countless videos and images that try to ignite people to care about the oppressed, the people of Gaza now. Music videos calling people to wake up their hearts to the destruction of Arab brothers and sisters, and members of humanity. Whole families being wiped off the planet. Babies with bullet holes through their chests. If a person does not feel for them then it is safe to say they really have no soul left. But I think the majority of people do feel for these people and are outraged with these crimes.

But it is not the first time that I have seen these images, and not the first time the world has turned its head and its eyes towards an area. It is not the first time that people have felt for others. Then why do I constantly see these images. Why are they always around?

What is Government? It is the institution that exists to act for the best interest of its citizens and humanity whether they be elected or otherwise. Their goal, by definition remains the same. They protect its citizens and act in their best interest.

Now, the people are awake, they are not passive and it is relatively easier to spring the masses into caring. But what about our governments, the institutions we trust to act on our behalf, to be our leaders, to be our voices. To be in government and to have that responsibility you should be awake since you are acting FOR the people. Then why does all this continue?

Because the people in power will not act. Is it in the the best interest for the people to act? Is there a reason a government remains silent or minimizes its actions? Is helping the oppressed in Gaza detrimental to citizens of another country?

The people are awake, the people care. Now it is time for this feeling to move from the ground up to our leaders, to lead the way for other leaders to follow and to understand that the masses will not stay silent forever and that witnessing oppression and staying silent is just as bad as being the oppressor yourself.

"Your silence will not protect you" - Audre Lorde

Some people explain better

This has all got stop. Stop creating more enemies Israel.


Johann Hari - The true story behind this war is not the one Israel is telling
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-the-true-story-behind-this-war-is-not-the-one-israel-is-telling-1214981.html
Mark Steel - So what have the Palestinians got to complain about
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/mark-steel/mark-steel-so-what-have-the-palestinians-got-to-complain-about-1218135.html
John McCarthy - If it was your home, what hope restraint?
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/john-mccarthy-if-it-was-iyouri-home-what-hope-restraint-1224209.html

World War III

The destruction, the murder, the violence happening in Gaza today is not an attack on a group of people I cannot associate myself with. On the smallest level they are Arabs, then they are Muslims and finally but most importantly they are HUMAN BEINGS. They have been robbed of everything and now they are being murdered and destroyed with the idea of self-defense. Do tanks need to defend themselves against pebbles? For all people in the world being murdered, oppressed and terminated, this is not simply a war against you, but against all of us. A war against humanity, for every child that is slaughtered is a calamity of immense proportions. It is a shame on us and our legacies.

Israel: Stop this bloodshed. You are stronger than your opponent, and the murder of those children is too much of a burden. Please stop, you have displayed your strength, and it has been recognized. But your strength will not be measured by your weapons, and with every child and innocent that is killed by your hand is a loss of your humanity, and a loss of your identity, and build up of your tyranny. Stop denying the Palestinians their right to existence.

Hamas: Have mercy on the people of Palestine. You are fighting a war you cannot win and the casualties of this war are the very people you claim to protect. There can be no success in this path. Let the Palestinians find peace, so that they may grow and strengthen, and become beneficial for everyone. They cannot do this, they cannot concentrate, and they cannot improve themselves while they are trying to avoid murder and death. The best thing you can do is STOP.

Gaza: May God make these times pass quickly for you, and may He lighten the burdens that you and your children are forced to bear.

Fact of Life #1

The majority of the people in the world are ignorant. There exists a handful of intelligent ones. These intelligent people spend their lives thinking of ways to attempt to save the ignorant people from destroying each other and the planet.

Changes

Sometimes something happens like a chance encounter that changes your entire outlook on life. I was upset before, over things that don't seem so important. My heart feels something now. I saw a light. This doesn't make any sense to me and I wish someone can help me make sense of it all. I just feel like all the problems are gone, but my heart hurts in an absolutely new direction. I don't like it when i feel this way and would rather just forget. But it helps me forget all the other stupid things I worry about. This writing seems aimless and maybe somewhere hidden in it there is a meaning, a point, a direction. I hope it is obvious to someone and they can explain it to me, or let me know they get it, and actually do.

More shoes

I find it fascinating that you can get TWO years for insulting a foreign leader in Iraq. Maybe the guy should be asked to be handed over to the US military. He wont have to worry about jail time, just a little bid of good old fashioned waterboarding. Thanks a lot Dick Cheney. No really..... Thank you.